Scripture: Colossians 1:9–14; 1 John 3:1
When I was in high school, my parents wanted me to become the next Michael Jordan. Okay, perhaps not exactly, but they definitely wanted me to play basketball. You see, they realized pretty early that I was going to be what you might call vertically challenged, and somehow they became convinced that playing basketball would help me grow taller.
So they signed me up.
The problem was that everyone else on the team seemed taller, faster, and significantly more athletic than I was. Meanwhile, I was short, clumsy, and wearing a uniform that didn't even have the correct name or number. To make matters worse, my shorts were enormous. Every time I tried to dribble the basketball, my shorts practically dribbled down with it.
Then came my first game. I finally got the ball, dribbled past several defenders, and launched what I was convinced would be the shot of my life. I gave it everything I had, desperately trying to keep my shorts up and my dignity intact. Unfortunately, I missed.
That pretty much summarized my basketball career: big shorts, bad shot.
My parents meant well. They wanted me to grow, develop new abilities, and become a well-rounded person. That's what good parents do. But the experience reminds me of an important truth: sometimes we're trying desperately to grow into someone we were never meant to become.
The Pressure to Become Someone
Every summer, when I speak at Christ in Youth events, I'm reminded of how much pressure students face to figure out their futures. They're making decisions about friendships, relationships, education, and careers, often while surrounded by competing messages about what makes someone valuable.
Get better grades. Make the team. Look better. Become more popular. Get into the right college. Build a following. Achieve something impressive.
And although these pressures are particularly intense during adolescence, they don't disappear when we become adults. We simply trade some expectations for others. Instead of worrying about popularity at school, we compare our careers, homes, finances, and accomplishments with those of our peers.
But the gospel gives us a different starting point. In 1 John 3:1, the apostle John marvels at the love God has shown in calling believers His children. Our deepest identity isn't something we construct through achievement or earn through performance. It's something we receive through our relationship with Jesus.
I love being Latino, and I love being American. Both identities are meaningful parts of my story. But they aren't the foundation of who I am. Before anything else, I am a child of God.
And that changes how I understand spiritual growth. We don't stumble into our identity as though it's something hidden that we must discover through endless experimentation. In Christ, we receive an identity and then spend our lives growing into its implications.
1. Grow in God's Will and Wisdom
In Colossians 1:9–10, Paul prays that the believers will be filled with the knowledge of God's will through spiritual wisdom and understanding. His desire is that their lives will honor the Lord and produce good fruit as they grow in their knowledge of Him.
It's interesting that Paul's prayer isn't primarily concerned with their careers, accomplishments, or social status. He's praying for their spiritual maturity.
We often ask, "What is God's will for my life?" Usually, we're thinking about a particular decision: where to live, what job to take, whom to marry, or which opportunity to pursue.
Those are legitimate questions, but perhaps we need to begin with something more foundational. Before asking what God's will is for a particular decision, we should ask what God's will is more broadly. What does He value? What has He revealed in Scripture? What kind of people does He call His followers to become?
The more we understand God's character, the better prepared we become to make decisions consistent with His priorities.
I remember being in the Boy Scouts as a teenager. Yes, I was that cool. During one climbing activity, I needed to pay close attention to my leader's instructions. I wasn't going to discover the best route by simply doing whatever felt right. I needed someone with greater experience to guide me.
Our relationship with Jesus develops in a similar way. Through Scripture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit's work in our lives, we increasingly learn to recognize His priorities and follow His direction.
Four Questions That Help Us Grow
I like to think about spiritual growth using the image of a healthy plant. For a plant to flourish, it needs an appropriate environment, suitable soil, a seed, and the nourishment that allows it to produce fruit.
The same illustration gives us four helpful questions for examining our lives.
Space: Where am I planted? Are my relationships, habits, and environment encouraging spiritual growth?
Soil: What needs are around me? What challenges or opportunities has God placed within my reach?
Seed: What has God placed in me? What gifts, abilities, passions, and experiences can I cultivate for His purposes?
Substance: What is my life producing? Are people encountering the love, hope, generosity, and character of Jesus through my influence?
These questions help us focus not merely on what we're accomplishing, but on the kind of people we're becoming.
2. Grow by Depending on God's Strength
In Colossians 1:11, Paul prays that believers will be strengthened with God's glorious power so they can develop endurance and patience. We often associate strength with impressive achievements, but Paul connects it with the ability to remain faithful through difficulty.
Whatever we build our identity around will eventually become the source we look to for strength. If our identity is rooted in our accomplishments, we'll feel secure when we're successful and defeated when we fail. If it depends on the approval of others, our confidence will rise and fall with their opinions.
But when our identity is rooted in Jesus, we learn to depend on Someone whose faithfulness doesn't change with our circumstances.
I experienced a humbling reminder of the need for patience when I tore my MCL while snowboarding. That sounds impressive, doesn't it? Except I wasn't flying down a mountain in Colorado. I was in my backyard, on my kid's snowboard.
Recovery required physical therapy, patience, and a willingness to accept help. The experience reminded me that growth isn't always comfortable or immediate. Sometimes rebuilding strength requires us to respect our limitations while continuing to make progress.
In 1 Samuel 30, David faces a devastating crisis. His enemies have attacked, families have been taken captive, and his own men are considering turning against him. Yet Scripture tells us that David found strength in the Lord his God.
David's confidence wasn't ultimately grounded in his leadership ability or reputation. He turned to God, and that's our invitation as well. Spiritual maturity doesn't mean becoming increasingly independent. It means learning to depend more deeply on Jesus.
3. Grow Into a Life of Joy
Paul also connects spiritual endurance with joy and gratitude. I love that connection because Christian joy is something far more meaningful than temporary happiness.
Happiness is often tied to favorable circumstances. We get the job, make the team, begin a new relationship, or finally see our favorite basketball player win another championship. Although if we're talking about LeBron, we may need to have a separate conversation.
But circumstances change, and if our joy depends entirely on everything going our way, it will always be fragile.
Christian joy is rooted in the grace and faithfulness of God. The New Testament words charis (grace), chara (joy), and chairō (rejoice) belong to the same linguistic family. Their relationship reminds us of the beautiful connection between receiving God's grace and responding with joy.
I think about a friend named Dee, who experienced the unimaginable pain of losing his son. Yet I've watched him continue to live and lead with a remarkable sense of joy. That doesn't mean his grief has disappeared or that his loss has become less meaningful. It means grief and Christian joy can coexist because our hope in Jesus reaches deeper than our circumstances.
At our church, we sometimes joke, "Let your face know that you're saved!" There's humor in that, but there's also an important reminder: we've been forgiven, redeemed, and welcomed into God's family. We have reasons for gratitude that extend beyond whatever is happening in our lives today.
Stop Trying to Become Someone Else
I wonder how many people spend their lives pursuing an identity someone else has defined for them. We compare ourselves to people online, measure our value through accomplishments, and try to meet expectations God never placed on us.
But Jesus invites us into something better. We can stop trying to manufacture an identity through achievement and begin growing into the relationship we've received through Him.
You don't have to become the next Michael Jordan, the most successful person in your industry, or the most impressive person in your social circle. You have something far more valuable through Christ: an identity grounded in God's love rather than your performance.
Grow in His wisdom. Depend on His strength. Become increasingly fluent in His joy.
You don't stumble into your identity. You grow into the identity you already have: a child of God.
Questions for Reflection
- What expectations are influencing the person you're trying to become?
- Which of the four areas of spiritual growth needs your attention?
- Where are you learning to depend on God's strength?
- How can you cultivate joy and gratitude in this season?
